My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
