Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
