No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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