just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I don't deserve a penis
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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