went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
