we have officially mastered the walk of shame
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
