Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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