but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
