This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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