I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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