matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
