Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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