I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
