Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Every concussion has its silver lining
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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