Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
