You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
