I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Randomize
