Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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