this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
