That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
