all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
