I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
