do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Someone stole a lamp last night.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
