I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
