I wish I could punch you in the face.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
he puts the penis in happiness.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
operation harelip BJ is a go
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
