I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
