I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
