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everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
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