Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
