my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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