hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
