i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
