margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Randomize
