Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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