I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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