Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
