I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Randomize
