I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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