You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm at about main and main street
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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