she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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