Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Im part way to drunk.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
