Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
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