We won't sleep together?
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
