Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
