scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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