Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
