Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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