Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
We left the knife in your bed.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
