You can't special order awesome
She just used a chaser for red wine.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
