You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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