Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Drake has all the answers
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
