i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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