I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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