I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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