Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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