i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
